Part II: Snot that easy being green

A wall of sharp metal spikes were propelled through the open doorway. Trogdar and Short-arse bore the worst of the iron assault, being stood at the doorway at the inopportune moment.

“He shot me!” came a cry from behind them. Jandyr had dodged, danced and pirouetted around the short, black flint arrows, but one lucky shot had struck him in the leg.

“How dare he!” Jandyr exclaimed as he notched an arrow and took aim at his foe.

“TROGDAAAAAAAR!!!” came the bellowing cry from the Barbarian as he charged into the goblins, barging his way into the middle of them. Swinging his mighty broadsword, he cleaved 3 in twain, whilst simultaneously deflecting the arrow Jandyr had just released.

“TROGDAAAAAAAR!!!” came the bellowing cry from the Elf as his frustrations were made known.

“I will move forwards and prepare to cast a spell”

“Right, that’s it,” said Short-arse, “time to let my axe do the talking.” As the Dwarf marched into the room after the Barbarian, a shower of blood, viscera and... other stuff... fell upon their face.

Something snapped inside Short-arse, as they picked up a spearmen by the throat, thrust them against the wall and literally beat the brains out of the unfortunate Goblin. That was enough for one of the archers, who fled in terror from the enraged Dwarf.

“HOW DARE YOU SOIL THE BEARD OF A DWARF WARRIOR IN MY OWN HOME!!!” said Short-arse, turning on the now berserk Barbarian.

“What’s the problem?” asked Trogdar whilst madly swinging his sword, “we’re all blokes here.”

“I happen to be female,” replied Short-arse.

Trogdar turned and regarded the Dwarf with shock. “You mean you’re not a bloke?”

“I am,” said Jandyr, who had suddenly appeared behind Trogdar.

“No I am not!” stated Short-arse simply.

“But you’ve got a beard!”

Looking up at the clean-shaven Barbarian and Elf, Short-arse said, “that doesn’t seem to be a necessary requirement of masculinity.”

“I will move forward and... the Winds of Magic have forsaken me!”

“Oh for fu...” Trogdar got out before the light from the lantern dipped again. When it returned, the Warriors were surrounded by 12 tiny Snotlings, who grinned maliciously before laying into the Warriors.

“Right in me knackers,” groaned a pained Trogdar as he doubled over. “That makes me MAAAAAAD!!!”

Trogdar lashed out, murdering the surrounding snotlings and spearmen before striding onwards to kill the few remaining archers lurking at the back of the room.

As Jandyr (who managed to simultaneously kill the snotlings crawling over his cloak and check to see if they had any loose change on them), and the Wizard dispatched their opponents, Short-arse swung her axe up and over her head in an executioner’s motion. As the axe fell however, she trod on her beard and fell face first into the ground, the remaining snotlings swarming over her back.

“I shall move forwards and...”

“No, wait!” shouted Short-arse, but it was too late.

“FREEZE!”

A thin trail of ice ran from the tip of Short-arse’s beard and started to crawl slowly up towards her face. As she attempted to pick herself up, the beard-tip snapped, still frozen to the ground below. On her back, 3 snotlings were frozen solid to her chainmail.

“I’m going to kill that Wizard,” she muttered.

“Phew, that feels better,” said Trogdar. “Right, let’s soldier onwards.”

“Agreed,” said Short-arse, picking off the snotlings she could reach from her armour.

As they prepared to leave, Jandyr said, “Actually guys, we should probably examine that other door, and I think there’s some Gold back in that corridor...”